I forgot to say that Tom is almost breathing on his own entirely now. The trachy is there in case he gets tired. We have felt this learning to breathe again process to be very slow, but I am told by doctor friends of Tom’s that, in fact, he has progressed quickly. Being here we follow every minute detail of his progress and we long for him to be able to talk again. I love Sal’s message of asking all who read here to breathe deeply for and with Tom.
Archive for June 16th, 2009
I’d like to write about Tom again because each day I see how remarkable he is in his approach to his new situation. Tom is entirely present now. He no longer has any drips or that ubiquitous (is this the right word!?) feeding tube. What a relief to have that gone! The only foreign bits now are the trachy and the neck brace, plus various supports on his lower legs. His neck is sore and massaging can only be done around the edges — not very helpful. Sitting in a chair is difficult, I see. Its a strain, but he’s placed there and he holds on for the suggested hour and yesterday he seemed slightly easier. ( A wheelchair person may be lending a better chair). As well as the physical difficulty of this position for Tom at present, being up sharply underlines his inability to move — no easy ways out. And this beautiful man of 37 , our beloved, has such courage and fortitude with this unimagineable loss of movement and feeling in almost all of his body, it takes my breath away. It seems to me this courage covers not only braveness, but also sorrow, anxiety and fear, uncertainty, and times of panic and despair.
I honour you Tom Soper. I honour Sally. It seems to me you have the love and openness to be with it all, in whatever way is needed on this incredibly difficult path.
Jane Soper, mother