When I have an itch I can’t scratch, I say: “Hello itch. Thank you for making me aware of you. I can now see that you are a temporary thing. Therefore I choose not to invest any more energy or worry in you”.
I then take ten deep breaths focussing on my ‘in’ breath and gently releasing the itch on my ‘out’ breath. This normally works and is a technique that can be used on anger, fear, panic and other negative emotions. Worry has no value.
My temporary setback only serves to create a stronger platform from which to step forward. My mood is buoyant and I am as positive as ever. Thank you for your comments which mean a lot to me.
Lots of love,
Tom
#1 by Robin Brown at July 6th, 2009
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Good stuff Tom!
#2 by Sarah Elderkin at July 6th, 2009
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What an amazing chap you are! ‘Worry has no value’. We can all draw a lesson from those few words.
Onward and upward, Tom
Love and all best wishes
Sarah
#3 by Ash Walshaw at July 6th, 2009
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Hey Tom
I was priviledged to have known you at Saints. I follow your journey on the website daily and am amazed at yours and Sally’s strength. Keep it up, I sure hope you get to scratch that itch soon!
Ashley
#4 by Ant & Nicky Gibbs at July 6th, 2009
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Tom, you are an amazing man, your strength and courage is inspirational – thank you for sharing it with us. You are at the start of an incredible journey and all of us are there with you. Love Ant and Nicky
#5 by Kate and Andrew Logan at July 6th, 2009
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You are an incredible man Tom! Your positive and determined spirit is an inspiration. We continue to breathe with you all day, every day xxx
#6 by Ant Greenway at July 6th, 2009
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You Da man BB, inspiratation at is best. Keep forging ahead. Thinking of all you guys all the time.
#7 by Mike Wray at July 6th, 2009
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It is not what you do,
It is how you do it,
Grace exists everywhere
It is not how you are known,
It is how you know yourself,
Grace comes from within
#8 by Brendon Malloch-Brown at July 6th, 2009
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Tom, hang in there buddy, keep focused on the big picture, you have done an amazing job so far. There is no challenge too big that you cannot overcome. Looking forward to helping you with that itch on Friday…Lucky
#9 by Michelle Amyot at July 6th, 2009
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You continue to inspire and humble me. Thinking of you muchly special person. Hugs to Sal. Love and deep breaths and peaceful skin!
Michelle xxxx
#10 by Gretta at July 6th, 2009
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Dearest Tom, So good to get messages from you. I will breathe your itches out for you. You are obviously my better half and I continue to learn from you day by day. Dad, Ray, myself, Julie and Ross went on a course at Stokemandaville Hospital (The spinal injury hospital in England) where we had a days session learning about your condition. It was very interesting and useful. I have joined the Association and will be receiving information from them on a regular basis. All magazines I will send on to you and if you find it useful I can then join the organisation for you in the future. I have also bought a CD-Rom on Living with Spinal Injury which after I have watched I will send on to you and Sal or forward to Nick for you to look at. It was good to get further insight into the problems you will face ahead but also to talk to others who are going through what you are faced with and are living possitively amazing lives. Just wishing you all the love in the world. Lots of love to Sal and the girls. Also I would like to say a very big thank you to St. Anthony’s Church for all their support and prayers over the last few weeks – thanks to Father Richard and Hilary and the rest of the congregation. And a big Thank you to St. Patricks – Douglas School for their support and prayers for you. Your sister Gretta xxxxx
#11 by Chris & Lizzie Moon at July 6th, 2009
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I think that should be the title of your book. I can’t wait for it to be published! Now everytime I have an itch, I’ll think of you. Lots of love as always, The Moons. xxxx
#12 by Errol and Tina at July 6th, 2009
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Dearest Tom you are an incredible person, such guts and courage. You will get there, you, Sal and girls are in our thoughts and prayers all the time. See you soon. Lots of love Errol and Tina
#13 by Wendy Greenway at July 6th, 2009
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Dearest Tom,
It was good to see you on Saturday, even though I was not supposed to be there, oops!
But I am glad I came, because I saw the strength in you, and now you have confirmed it.
“Nothing in the world is softer
and weaker than water.
But for attacking the hard, the unyielding,
nothing can surpass it.
There is nothing like it.
The weak overcomes the strong:
the soft surpasses the hard.
In all the world there is no one who does not know this
but no one can master the practice.
Therefore the master remains serene in the midst of sorrow;
evil cannot enter his heart.
Because he has given up helping,
he is people’s greatest help.
True words appear paradoxical.”
Verse 78
The Tao
#14 by Tina at July 6th, 2009
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Hi Tom,
Wow – what an awesome post! You don’t know me, I went to school with Robs tooooo many years ago!?!?!
I have been praying for you constantly and sending much light and love to your whole family.
I am continually amazed by and stand in awe of you; your friends and family obviously adore you, and, each insight into you as a man confirms the reasons for this adoration.
Sending prayers, love and light to you all,
Tina, Andy & Josh
#15 by Brian O'Shea at July 6th, 2009
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Oh boy, do I remember those itches! I don’t think I was anything like as serene about them as you are (I employed a round-the-clock army of itch scratchers and visitors were not allowed to begin or end their visits without attending to them), so hats off to you! It’s fantastic to hear from the horses mouth as it were and I really look forward to catching up with you directly at some stage to compare notes. Just keep on keeping on and things get better.
By the way, any good-looking nurses on the ward? OOPS — forgot you were married, you obviously haven’t noticed hey
?!?
With you in spirit
Brian
#16 by sian and simon ellis at July 6th, 2009
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howsit tom
just read out your post to the family – all send their love and as you say – no worries mate!
love the the clan
sian, simon, yvette, guy and andre
XXXXX
#17 by Amanda Davies at July 6th, 2009
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Tom – you are so amazing! And you have an amazing wife and family! Love to you all!
Mands x
#18 by Peta-Jane and Craig Spong at July 6th, 2009
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Oh Tom – so good to hear from you. And I second Missus Moon – we look forward to the book! You are the man!
We continue with our mantras for Breathing; Slowly & Surely, pole pole; and Mike’s excellent Patience & Grace. Big hugs.
#19 by Lindsay Earle at July 6th, 2009
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itching to hear you and to see you.
So much love from us all
#20 by Freya Thomson at July 7th, 2009
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Such a positive post, Tom; good to hear from you. xxx
#21 by Ann Marshall at July 7th, 2009
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Dear Tom,
I know you’ve been told this a 1000 times, but you just are so inspirational. We think of you daily and find our own selves buoyed by such positive posts as these! It is wonderful to hear from you now.
Continuing with sending our positive thoughts to you and Sal across the oceans.
Love Ann Archer & family x
#22 by Ray Soper at July 7th, 2009
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My beloved Tomogeegee,
Greetings and peace, Such courage, strenght, wisdom,such control in the middle of the yakaboo itch,peace in the middle of it all and determination to focus on the strenghtening and healing of your lungs. . I send you loving strong hugs and lots of fingers to bwat those itches away.My prayers are with you my beloved brother always.
Immense love now and always ,xx
#23 by Ross McAdam at July 7th, 2009
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Tom
As always your patience and wisdom abounds. Build up those platforms and in your own time…..step.
I to look forward to the book.
#24 by Kirsty Dixon at July 7th, 2009
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Absolutely amazing!! Love and thoughts every day from my entire household.
Love Kirsty xxxx
#25 by Nikki & Terry Edwards at July 7th, 2009
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Beautiful Tom, you are powerful beyond words. Nikki xxx
#26 by Bev - Redan at July 7th, 2009
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Tom you are trully an inspiration and am priveledged to learn such patience , such courage and such wisdom from you.You are trully blessed and have touched so many lives.Stay strong – Miss you so much.
Lots of Love
#27 by Tigere & Agnes at July 7th, 2009
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What more can one say Tom? Put simply, you are the man. Love you lots. Keep the courage. Missing you so much
#28 by Marc & Helen at July 7th, 2009
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Hey Tombo – that post was awesome. You truly are an inspiration for all of us. Your energy and positivity is simply infectious. Anything is possible with that attitude – keep strong my friend
love Marc
#29 by Rowena and Angus at July 7th, 2009
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Wow how amazing you are- turning an irritation into mere insignificanse. I think this a lesson we should all use everyday! Thinking of you as you and your family show such immense courage xxx
#30 by Michelle Compton at July 7th, 2009
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Brilliant – thanks for teaching us and inspiring us.
Your strength is awesome Tom – keep on trucking.
Lots of love to Sal and the girls
Mich
xxx
#31 by Spike at July 7th, 2009
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Good to hear from you Tom, and at the risk of repeating what has already been said, 1000s of times, you are soooo inspirational, we miss you stacks, see you soon.
#32 by Mark and Tara Ralphs at July 7th, 2009
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Hey Tom, no mountain is too high for you to climb. I’ll never forget our chats when i was pregnant with chloe….you always said how strong ones mind is and that it can conquer anything….I know you’ll put your money where your mouth is! Stay focussed and strong our special friend. Luv Mark and Tara
#33 by Patch at July 7th, 2009
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Itch’s are good, it means there’s feeling. All looking good, fingers crossed for the next rehab session. Keep smiling. Patch xx
#34 by Hails Allardice at July 7th, 2009
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My daily check up on you Tom and as always am SO inspired! Great to hear from you again!
Breathing sure deep breaths for you!
So much love
Hailsxx
#35 by Vivienne at July 7th, 2009
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Hi Tom, Since you’re clearly doing brilliantly, I thought you might appreciate this statement from the latest RSN report (where we’re missing you badly!) “The Mufakose group is working well in vegetable growing and cobra making.”
We already have plenty of cobras in Monavale – maybe we should send some over!
#36 by Krista Alves at July 7th, 2009
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Dearest Tom. You are just such an inspiration to us all. I love your matter-of-fact and practical analysis of the difficulties you face. We all have a lot to learn from you. Keep those big breaths coming. All bumps in the road will be overcome by your determination.
So so much love and determination being sent your way. xxx
#37 by Fi Soper at July 7th, 2009
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So proud of you! I couldn’t have asked for a better role model of a brother. Love you very much,
Fi
#38 by Katrina at July 7th, 2009
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Dearest Tom, I am constantly consumed with thoughts of you and Sal at this very difficult time. of course i now have an itch on my nose and I’m putting myself in your shoes!
You are a huge inspiration to me and I pray every day for a miracle.
Lots of love
Kat
#39 by Ross at July 7th, 2009
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You are the mould. the man to which all others should strive to be. A greater man I do not know.
#40 by Robs at July 7th, 2009
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Legendary … YOU , not the itch!!! Heaps of love, Robs
#41 by Alistair Fisher at July 7th, 2009
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Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A world of optimism and hope. A you can do it when things are tough.
Mungu, Nats, Aidan and Sienna
#42 by Gay & Peter Bourhill at July 7th, 2009
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Tom, we spent time with Sal on Saturday & suggested she write a book but think maybe it should be you that writes the book. Powerful words and so aptly put. You are both literary experts-we feel we are there with you all the way; itching like mad! Lots of love,
Gay Peter Seb Freda Jack Joseph Char Karl & Marcus
#43 by Anon at July 7th, 2009
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I am not afraid of storms for I am learning to sail my ship.
However rough the sea, may you succeed in sailing your ship.
#44 by Rosie Mitchell and SJ Nott at July 7th, 2009
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Tom, you are, as always, an inspiring human being! It is so wonderful for all of us out here to hear your own voice through the wise words you are now expressing for yourself, so exciting a development this is, too – and to see that even in these straits you have kept your sense of humour! Good for you – and good for us lot, too!
It was a wonderful moment, reading your own words for the first time since this excellent site went up. Yet more tears, from our end, but joyful ones! Your situation, progress, milestones, and the phenomenon of this website and all it has made possible, all the connections it is forging and superbly positive energy it is generating, the deep personal changes it is inducing and actions it is catalysing, are the talk of the town here. It’s miraculous. Lives are being altered, mindsets shifted, friendships forged, and it’s all good.
Isn’t it both bizarre and amazing – that this terrible thing that has happened, that you are living and accepting and facing with such courage, transforms each day into so much for so many that is so wonderful, even while so poignant? We are overwhelmed by your poise, grace, honesty, dignity and fortitude, in so dire a situation and can only thank you and all around you for sharing all of this with all of us and helping us grow, in doing so.
with fondest love,
Rosie and SJ
#45 by Jenny Papalexis at July 7th, 2009
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You know Tom, all of us out there always knew what an exceptional person you are, but day by we are all realising that you are much much more than that! Just wanted to let you know that we are thinking of you and praying for you every day. Lots of hugs and kisses from Cyprus. Xxx
#46 by Nige and Emma at July 8th, 2009
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Dear Tom and the “ïtch”
How great to “hear”"you talk. i had a feeling of deja vu – My dad was an amputee and he dealt many an “ïtch” a wonderous blow with his strength of mind – how powerful to hear you so in control and so eloquently conquering your hurdles. It is extremely humbling and a priviledge to be a witness on this journey you are travelling. Keep strong, keep your humour through the tough moments – it helps heal in moments of dispair and gives hope for the road ahead. Thinking of you all with love, prayers and hope.
Nige and Em
#47 by Kel Bel at July 8th, 2009
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Tom, You are an inspiration and so powerful. Thanks for the lessons you teach us. You are so full of wisdom. I know who is on the otherside ? …………….biggest hugs xxx
#48 by Alice Mayers at July 8th, 2009
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Tom, i didnt really come on here for you to make me laugh, but you have. I am going to try that technique on a few things that are bugging me, thank you for the advise.
So so proud to be your friend.
alice
#49 by Gillian at July 9th, 2009
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Long time. School back online at last and am able to keep up to date with your vconstant and amazing progress.
So good to “hear” your own words again.
Am bunking school a little and am off next door to visit Sal who is also an amazing inspiration.
Look forward to reading your book-if anyone can, it’s you.
love
Gills
#50 by Sean O'Shea at July 9th, 2009
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Tom
Delighted to see that the old spirit is intact ! I’m quite sure that the ICU will bid you farewell in a better state than when you arrived, having benefited from your positive energy. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Sean