“The best way out is always through.” Robert Frost
This means that I spend endless hours staring at a small piece of ceiling in the trauma ICU waiting for my prudent doctors to wean me to my rehabilitation fate. During this time I try to figure out the answers to life’s questions. Unfortunately I’m not there yet. So, often I spend my time missing Sal and the girls like crazy, and dispatching the occasional itch.
Occasionally I feel this is all a dream and I can just get up and walk out of here. Then I realise that I don’t have any clothes!
What I don’t feel is inspirational, rather I am constantly inspired by my wife’s love, the depth of parental bonds, my siblings’ efforts and love for me, and the incredible support from all of you.
Thank you Ryan Wibberley for your unheralded effort. I liked that.
That’s all for now.
Tom
PS. We’ll keep you posted on rehab developments as they come in
#1 by Bev - Redan at July 13th, 2009
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Tom you are an amazing human being , you inspire us all to greater heights , your courage and spirit will have a positive impact on all who are priveledged to know you.
I miss you
Lots of love – Bev (Redan)
#2 by Cayto & Ross Owen at July 13th, 2009
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Darling Tom, Sal, your girls. We think of you all every day and check on your site as a matter of habit . Huge hugs, strength, breaths, and love to all of you. Lots of love from one of the small elements of Toms amazing army xoxox
#3 by Michelle Amyot at July 13th, 2009
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Dearest Tom
Waiting must be such a challenge for a man who has lived in the active now. It takes a different kind of strength to manage the motion of the imperceptible. The gains in time will be nonetheless as valid and meaningful as the leaps you have taken to date. My thoughts turn to you so often of a day, sending calm, patience, stability and hope. Stay strong – you are enfolded in a positive, caring, supportive embrace from so many. Hugs. Michelle xxxx
#4 by Beverley Layard at July 13th, 2009
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Hi Tom
I can relate to most of these feelings far too well! That feeling of it all being a dream still hits me every now and then even after 11 and 1/2 years, so I’m afraid you have to get used to it. You are doing amazingly well, keep it up!!!
Bev x
#5 by Grant & Trev at July 13th, 2009
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Tom,
How you approach each one of your daily challenges is quite simply incredible, and leaves all of us truely blown away.
I am sure we are not the only ones that reflect, on a daily basis, what a special guy you are to us and how lucky we are to call you a mate!
Keep on keeping on Big Guy…
Love Grant & Trev
#6 by Kel & Ant at July 13th, 2009
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Tom, you are FABULOUS.
xxx
#7 by Brett at July 13th, 2009
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Tom , not many people can even begin to comprehend what it must be like for you on a day to day basis , me included.I salute you !
#8 by Barbara Kaim at July 13th, 2009
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Tom – think of you and visit this site daily. Sending you white light and much love, Barbs
#9 by James Bradbury at July 13th, 2009
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Thanks Tom
Love hearing from you and cant even begin to imagine how tough the days must be. “Strength through struggle”
#10 by Gay & Peter Bourhill at July 13th, 2009
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Dear Tom. You may not FEEL inspirational but you ARE inspirational. There are thousands of us out here logging onto this amazing website just waiting for yours or Sals next epistle to make us laugh or cry or reflect. We love you, Gay Peter Seb Freda Jack Joseph Char Karl & Marcus PS.The thought of you running out of ICU naked had us giggling!
#11 by Katrina at July 14th, 2009
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Dearest Tom. I don;t think there will ever be an answer for whats happened. I just pray that you are soon back in the company of Sal and the girls. i can’t imagine how much you must miss them, and them you.
Can;t they put a TV screen on the ceiling?? Had one in the dentist yesterday!! It would take away those hours of thinking which must sometimes be too much to bear…
lots of love
Kat
#12 by Lauren Reitz (Bersin) at July 14th, 2009
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Tom, Sal and Girls,
everyday brings something different and yet your response has been so incredible. We cant take anything away, we cannot change anything for you and so please know that our positive thoughts and hope are with you each moment along the way. Your minfulness has been inspirational.
Love to you all,
Lol
#13 by Jules and Mike at July 14th, 2009
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Dearest Tom
You are such a special person and we think of you so often. So so much love to you and your beautiful family.
Love Jules xxx
#14 by Spike at July 14th, 2009
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Dear Tom
It was sooo good to see you over the weekend. you may not feel inspirational, but we are trully inspired all the same. you are a special person.. Much love Spike
#15 by Amanda Davies at July 14th, 2009
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Hey Tom – I could not have said it better myself! You are an inspiration to each and everyone of us! Lots of love to you. Mands x
#16 by Adam and Karin at July 14th, 2009
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Tom, just seen you briefly and just came home to read this and your post on the itch because, while I know that you are drawing inspiration from Sal, your girls, your Mum, everyone, I want to say that you are passing that inspiration onwards to everyone. I’ve had a couple of metaphorical itches in my time but instead of scratching fruitlessly at future ones, I am now going to try to find your strength and practice saying hello to them and moving on through. May the strength of Binga and Dombe shine on you and the waters of the Southern Lakes wash over you with their healing power. Adam and Karin.
#17 by Julie Makings at July 14th, 2009
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My dear cousin, love – just love overwhelming love and prayers for strength – for all of you. xxx will see you soon xxx
#18 by Nick Ralph at July 14th, 2009
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Tom
I cannot imagine how mind numbingly boring staring at a piece of ceiling for hour after hour must be.
I don’t think I have answers to many of life’s questions either and I surely don’t know the answer to the question of why you are where you are. I do know that things are different for you now, and I have been thinking of that a lot.
At some stage I figured out that life really is a journey and that change is, perhaps, the only constant. No matter what, things change. Sometimes not as quickly as I would like and certainly not always in the direction I would choose.
The time is coming when you will no longer be looking at the piece of ceiling. I don’t know when that will be and where you will go is not yet clear either.
What is clear is that we are all going with you on that journey, where ever it leads.
I’m looking forward to it.
Nick
#19 by Mandz and Andrew at July 14th, 2009
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Hey sweetie – I just typed you out a long message to you and lost it somehow. Some might say the universe was sparing me embarrasing myself with the song writing revelations to follow but I believe otherwise!!
Nick wrote such an amazing message above and I love the reminder that things change and that no situation is permanent. I remember as a little 6 year old girl lying in my bed at boarding school in Kwe Kwe, lonely and scared in the dark, wondering what on earth I had done to deserve this new exisitence without my family with me and my home comforts. And to calm myself down and pass the hours I made up little songs. The one was to the tune of a Michael Jackson song and I don’t know how much I cribbed but my words were… “One day in your life, you will know its over, no more times like this, no more times of sadness, no more tears will fall, happiness will always show for the day is almost here, to be happy again.” Now Michael J will turn in his grave hey but I still sing this song when life is not going the way it could and when I need the patience to pass the time.
My favourite song at the moment has the words “our lives are made in these small hours, these little wonders, these twist and turns of fate. Time falls away in these small hours…that remain.” Your life has been made in many “small hours” and there are many that remain my friend.
Your home comforts and your dearest family wait for you and you will be back there – hopefully soon.
With love always,
Mandz and Family
#20 by Fi and Pete Loverdos at July 14th, 2009
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Dear Tom,
Your strength is incredible, we can only begn to imagine how hard it is to keep positive. You, Sal and the girls continue to be in our thoughts,
love Fi and Pete xxx
#21 by Rowena and Angus at July 15th, 2009
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Dear Tom, no hero thought he was a hero at the time! But to us you are a hero with your super powers of patience and courage and how you meet your daily challenges. All with your ever present army behind you- family, hospital staff and the world wide net work you have. You do not need to feel inspirational! The fact that you and your family get throuhg each day is inspiration enough xxx
#22 by Nicky and Mark Dawson at July 15th, 2009
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Dearest Tom-we are thinking of you contstantly and will make a plan to come see you soon. Till then continue to be the brave and corageous man you are. Lots of love Nick xxx
#23 by Tom & Ashleigh Abram at July 15th, 2009
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Hey Tom
Great ‘quote’. Thank you for the smile. Your spirit is amazing.
Thinking of you and your girls.
Lots of love
Tom & Ash
#24 by Tom & Ashleigh Abram at July 15th, 2009
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Tom,
Just to say Hey!
#25 by Tom & Ashleigh Abram at July 15th, 2009
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Sorry, forgot to sign off!
(Ps hope 3 comments from 1 person still count!!)
Ash
x
#26 by Tom & Ashleigh Abram at July 15th, 2009
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Sorry, forgot to sign off!
(Ps hope 3 comments from 1 person still count!!)
Ash
x
#27 by Julia Weyl Pettengill at July 15th, 2009
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Dearest Tom and Sal,
What is so incredible to me and I bet this is the case for many of your friends or visitors to this site is that I find myself drawing inspiration, wisdom and strength from you and Sal rather than feeling it is the other way around. So often your words just hit home for me…whether it is breathing out all my anxiety and worries because “worry has no value”…or trying to learn patience or appreciating the simple things. So I guess what I want to say is “Thank You”….thank you for sharing yourselves, thank you for making this world a more beautiful place, thank you for inspiring me to be a better person…to love more, to be more, to try harder.
I know we haven’t met…but there isn’t a day that goes by that we don’t breathe for you, think of you and Sal and your girls, send you love and light and positive energy….
You are winning this race one step at a time and we are cheering for you all the way!
love, Julia & family
#28 by Wolf at July 15th, 2009
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Tom
You may not feel very inspirational but let your inspiration come from the fact that you and your website are making thousands of us reassess as to what is really most important in this life.
So as you watch that spider crawl across the ceiling know that you are inspiring many !
Wolf.
#29 by Anon at July 15th, 2009
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To see the rainbow, we must look through the rain.
Always cheering you on Tom.
#30 by Marc & Helen at July 16th, 2009
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Hey Buddy – nice one about the clothes (I got it). Its amazing you always seemed to have the answeers for me when I asked – not that I always listened. Can’t wait for you to have all of lifes answers or at least the GOOD ones. Breathing for you every day my friend. As mentioned by many you have shown by your example what true inspiration is. I am truly inspired by your composure, honesty and steely determination. Tom – I salute you.
love always Zef
#31 by Mark and Tara Ralphs at July 16th, 2009
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You are one in a million Tom! Now, hurry up and find your clothes coz we need you back! all our love and positive energy from the Mark and ‘T’ xx
#32 by Tyler Cornish at July 16th, 2009
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Hey Tom, good to hear from you again, keep the updates coming, all is well at work this end but hurry back we need and miss you. Cheers Tyler
#33 by Helen Doran at July 17th, 2009
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Hey Tom,
You’re post made me smile. I miss you! Marc misses you. You are incredible and you truely inspire us. I think of you, Sal and the girls with admiration every day.
Lots of love,
Helen
#34 by Karen Rogers at July 17th, 2009
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Dear Tom
Dig deep and you will find and enduring inner strength to keep you going through all the challenges that lie ahead. You and your family are in my thoughts every day and I send you lots of love and light from across the sea!
Lots of love
Karen xx
#35 by Lizzie Moon at July 17th, 2009
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Just a Friday Hi from The Moon Household. Mountains of love to you. xx
#36 by Lindsay Earle at July 17th, 2009
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Passport back! Spike offered to pack – see you soon xxx
#37 by Ant Greenway at July 17th, 2009
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Hi BB,
Keep your eye on the ball brother love. These things were not meant to be easy. I know the strength of your resolve. You can do it and you WILL do it – may take some time but you will do it. We all miss you and send constant strength to you from afar. love from Ant, Wens, Jake and Amy
#38 by Alice Mayers at July 17th, 2009
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Tom, as all your friends say, and regardless of how you feel you are amazing. And like you, I am also in awe of your wife and family. Sending you all love Alice xxx
#39 by Amanda Mackenzie at July 19th, 2009
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Hey Tom.
Tell those b******* to give you back your clothes!
I post my love to Gretta every night so she can send it on to you.
Amanda
#40 by Barbara Makings at July 19th, 2009
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Hey Tom, Jane, Sal,
A short while ago I hardly knew you and now I find that you have all become extremely important to me.
I have been trying to find the answers, Tom!
I bought the book ‘When Bad Things happen to Good people’ – written by Harold S. Kushner. He is a Rabbi, who lost his son at the age of 14. From a Jewish/Christian perspective, he questions why bad things happen to good people. Is it from God? Tom I mentioned this book to you today. Your immediate response was ‘How do I know that you are good’ – (very sharp)!
I believe this book to be very honest and the answers given may not be what we are all looking for, but they are nevertheless, an attemp at some answers.
The basic thing is that things in this world happen randomly – there is cruelty, disasters, misfortunes, and very often there may be no reason. What does matter, however, is how people support each other and the love which people show during such tragic times. The author speaks about forgiving and accepting love in a world in which there is so much unfairness, cruelty, disease, crime earthquake and accident. The author ends with a quote about the loss of his son Aaron ‘ I think of Aaron and all that his life taught me, and I realize how much I have lost and how much I have gained. Yesterday seems less painful, and I am not afraid of tomorrow’.
Tom, Sal, Jane through your situation, there has been an abundance of love and support and acceptance, and even those who did not previously know you have gained.
Keep being such a wonderful inspiration. We are there for you….. Kevin and Barbara
#41 by Julian & Gail Schonken at July 19th, 2009
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Dearest Tom,
Please know we are constantly thinking of you and Sal and your beautiful girls.
Sending you our love and strength always,
Julian & Gail
#42 by sian and simon ellis at July 20th, 2009
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hi tom
came to visit. see you are as strong and steadfast as always! take care friend – you are always in our thoughts.
love
sian, simon, yvette, guy and andre
#43 by Ursh and Paul Gorringe at July 20th, 2009
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Hey Tom,
Thinking of you every day, as always. You may not feel like an inspiration but the number of people who visit this site is a testimory to that. Your post on the ‘itch’ has had a huge impact on the way that I deal with situations and I am trying to teach my kids the same. Bryan broke his arm yesterday and I told him about your breathing technique to help deal with the pain and it really worked. You have a long road ahead of you but we will all be with you, every step of the way. Lots of love Ursh
#44 by Wendy Greenway at July 20th, 2009
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Ah Tom, I am so touched by the way you are inspiring those who visit your web site! I don’t think a single one of us mindlessly scratches an itch any more. I see that you inspire everyone without meaning to because you are just being your authentic self. I also see that your loved ones inspire you with their support and love for the same reasons. All of you are great teachers to us as this unfolds and while it is our human desire to make it better for you all in an instant, while we can’t we learn lessons. When you feel uninspired close your eyes and think of the 100′s of us who you are inspiring and who offer you and your precious family a big safety net of love and light. xxx.