Today in South Africa is Heritage day or better known as National Braai Day. What made this day even greater was Tom’s FIRST OUTING!!!!! Myself, Gary and Nicky Futter bundled (and I mean bundled, as we are not as skilled as the Rehab Team) Tom into the front of a sedan car and travelled 9.8km to the Futter’s house for a braai. I could just see Tom drinking in the scenery, watching the trees go by, the clouds, the blue sky, the people walking, the cars. Matt and Hayley – the Futter’s kids were a great help, Matt desperate to give Tom his lunch and Hayley happy to fetch a beer (!!!!) from the fridge for him. 2 beers was his quota and they went down “singing hymns”.
Tom has come so far in the last few weeks. He fills his day with gym sessions, mastering the demo electric wheelchair, meeting with various wheelchair salesmen, and desperately and patiently he endeavours to master “The Dragon”. This is the voice recognition software, called Dragon Naturally Speaking, that has been loaded onto his laptop. At the moment it enables him to switch between applications, write documents, send emails, type messages on skype and move the mouse around the screen. It has some hitches as it gets use to his voice but this should come in time. The application he is desperate to master is Excel.
His breathing continues to be good and his lungs have been clear for a while. He’s eating well and has put on a few kgs but is still lighter than me! He can now sit most of the day in the wheelchair with few blood pressure issues. Every now and then someone will need to lift his legs to get the blood pumping again. If we don’t catch it in time he goes grey and passes out. But this has got less and less over time - ruthless encouragement from Mel and Michelle! His bald head, shaved in appreciation of everyone who has walked for him around the world, is slowly sprouting hair. Hooray!
It’ll be my last day with him tomorrow for a while as Rob, Tom’s Dad and Gretta his twin sister arrive for 2 weeks. I will take the opportunity to stay at home with the girls, who took my departure so hard this time round, and get busy adapting the house and finding a carer. My emotions still run amock and at the most inappropraite times, I find. I’ve said it before, the reality hits me in the back of my head like a cricket bat and I literally have to shake it out, take some deep breaths and just let it be. I keep seeing how Tom is dealing with this and its humbling. At lunch today Nicky said something very thought provoking and had I heard it 21 weeks ago I probably would have found it hard to do. Make a Gratitude List of 25 things and then each day add 5 more things to that list. One of those things on my list today was… ”I am grateful to scratch that itch”.
Another was “I am grateful for this day with my husband”.
















#1 by Col at September 24th, 2009
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Sal, such a special post. May there be many more such days filled with gratitude and awesome progress. Still think of you both so much. My love, as always xxx
#2 by Lyn at September 24th, 2009
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Here we have sausages at a BBQ …. (and these poms generally have no idea when something is cooked over fire … the item cooked often resembles charcoal before they fling it onto a plate for consumption!) So, may I be bold to add … be grateful for a good braai with REAL borewors! What a way to spend your first outing with Tom …. brilliant! Love, Lyn x
#3 by Rob & Sue at September 24th, 2009
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Dearest Sal & Tom – you are a true inspiration to us all, we continue to think of all your family each and every day – how amazing that you had a braai out with friends today – I great change from hospital food. Sending you both together with Ciara & Erin loads of love and positive energy – Rob & Sue
#4 by Ross McAdam at September 25th, 2009
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Sal
Do you enjoy making me cry first thing in the morning at work? Beautiful, joyful and positive. I am grateful to be friends with you guys.
Love
#5 by Morag at September 25th, 2009
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I have never met either Sal or Tom, but was directed to this website via a friend on Facebook and have followed your triumphs, highs and lows very closely. You are both truly inspirational people who have risen above such adversity with so much courage and dignity. I cannot even begin to image what lies ahead for you both, but know that you will conquer the unknown with the help and support of your wonderful friends and family. With every good wish – Morag (Auckland, ex Bulawayo)
#6 by Hails Allardice at September 25th, 2009
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I ditto Ross this morning! Tears of immense joy for you both. Thank you Sal for this amazing and inspirational post.Always thinking of you and sending lots of lovexxxx
#7 by Michelle Compton at September 25th, 2009
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AMAZING -can’t think of anything else to say through my tears.
Lots of love to you very special people.
Michelle
xxxx
#8 by Dee Bagshaw at September 25th, 2009
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Tom and Sal, how amazing to have an outing, what a special day that must have been for you both. There will be many more of those in the future the rate you are going Tom – well done I think you are making amazing progress!!
Lots of love to you both
Dee and Ian
#9 by Frank, Carol & Megan L at September 25th, 2009
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Hi there. What an uplifting & positive post Sal. Thanks for sharing. Thrilled you had such a successful & fun day out. Such excellent news on Tom’s continued & inspiring progress. As always, deep breaths & loads of positve strength, energy & much love. xxx
#10 by Michelle Amyot at September 25th, 2009
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Fantastic news! Have to admit I am tearful too amidst broad smiles – so good to hear you are making such incredible progress, Tom, and that there’s more normalcy around life. Much positive energy will be sent towards conquering that Dragon, especially the Excel challenge – you can do it Tom.
Sal, here’s to your next phase focusing on getting ready for that hopeful Christmas return. Wishing you a lighter heart.
Thoughts are with you all – love, breaths, light and hugs!
Michelle xxxx
#11 by Lizzie Moon at September 25th, 2009
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Glad to hear the Vors was with you on National Braai Day! Strength Courage Hope. Proud of you Soper folks. xxx
#12 by Leandra at September 25th, 2009
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Awesomeness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
An outing, braaivleis, coping with the dragon, sitting upright, allmost too much too take in at one time.
Tom and Sal, SO proud of you guys! Baby steps, and now your hundreds of miles further!
#13 by Errol and Tina at September 25th, 2009
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Dearest Sal and Tom – so good to read such a happy post this morning. The tears were there but tears of joy. It must have been such a special day yesterday and so pleased it was celebrated in a true african style. Tom you are such an inspiration to us all and we look forward to seeing you next week when we are in Joburg. Keep up the amazing progress. Lots of love Errol and Tina
#14 by lizzie hayes at September 25th, 2009
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Can’t count how many times I’ve come to this comment box and just don’t know what to say – I am no less speechless today!Learning so many lessons through you, and am in awe of your courage , determination and strength. I think of you all every day wih love, prayers and positive thoughts. Huge hugs xx
#15 by Dave Wood at September 25th, 2009
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Loved the beers ‘singing hymns’. All the best to you guys and may there be many more days enjoying good friends and food.
#16 by Gay & Peter Bourhill at September 25th, 2009
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Tom Sal & The Girls.How exciting & homecoming getting ever closer.We are looking forward to that.Lots of love Gay Peter Seb Freda Jack Joseph Char Karl & Marcus
#17 by Rich Honey and Family at September 25th, 2009
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Dear Sal and Tom
Great update this morning would have love to have been there with you on national braai day!! Will raise a glass or two to your fantasitc progress this evening.
Rich
#18 by Fi and Pete Loverdos at September 25th, 2009
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Dear Tom and Sal,
How wonderful to have been out, and how quickly things seem to now be moving on. Sal, your posts are so eloquent.
love Pete and Fi x
#19 by Spike at September 25th, 2009
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I am grateful for having met you both, you are an awesome family ….
#20 by Wendy Greenway at September 25th, 2009
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Thanks for the update Sal, so excited for you both, so looking forward to having braais with you both again!! lots of love xxx
#21 by linda mccomb at September 25th, 2009
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Should we think of Tom now as our bundle of joy? And was it the “Cowboy carol (hymn) that Tom sang as he inbibed his quota of 2 beers? This last fortnight seems to have been giant leaps, rather than baby steps.
So look forward to catching up with all that’s happened. Enjoy having Gretta and Rob, and see you soon.
Thanks to Nix and Gary….and Rosie..you’ve missed your vocation (unless that is it!) A wonderful piece in The Standard.
Darling Sal another hill climbed. All our love, see you tomorrow.xxx
#22 by Krista Alves at September 25th, 2009
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Sal, such a wonderful post. I can imagine Tom enjoying every tiny moment of his outing and never tasting and appreciating a beer like he did on the day! One thing I will add to my Gratitude List is the privalege of having you and Tom as friends. You are both such an inspiration to the rest of us. As always, loads of love and support being sent your way. xxx
#23 by Anne & George at September 25th, 2009
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What exciting news Tom & Sal! George and I are so pleased to hear about your amazing progress. So looking forward to having you back in Zim. Lots of love and hugs Anne xxx
#24 by James Bradbury at September 26th, 2009
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So good to hear Tom made it out, to braai – thats great news, especially the progress on Toms breathing.
we still pray and wish you all the best.
Lots of love from James, Karen & Amélie
#25 by Jay and Gary at September 26th, 2009
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A braai as your first outing – awesome! I can’t wait to be in touch on skype Tom. You have progressed in leaps and bounds. Roll on many more good times, making memories and just enjoying (which obviously involves a few well-deserved beers) Cheers dear friends. I am raising my glass full of wine as I type this. Lots of love as always.
#26 by Lindsay Earle at September 27th, 2009
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so glad you got the beers! hope there was piri piri chicken – Sal what an awesome update xxxx
#27 by Helen & Pete (Bots) at September 27th, 2009
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What a wonderfull day Sal and many more wonderfull days are coming. Our love and prays are with Tom, you and the girls and Mum and Dad always every minute of the day.
Lots of love
#28 by Peta-Jane and Craig at September 27th, 2009
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Can’t go wrong with a braai and beers! So special for you both and for us all.
I love the idea of a Gratitude List – we are so grateful to have you as our dear friends and so grateful to have such wonderful people supporting you (and braaing for you!).
Good luck with The Dragon Tom. Sal, enjoy your time home with the Girls.
#29 by Adam and Karin at September 28th, 2009
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Sal and Tom, never was their a better reason to have a cold pint than the news that Tom was having one. Tom you legend! Sal you hero! So much strenth and deep breaths to you both…
#30 by Mark and Tara Ralphs at September 28th, 2009
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Sal, you always manage to get those goosebumps speeding down my body…so happy you could ‘bundle’ tom into the car for a special, well deserved break. I’ll give you a piggy back ride anytime tom, I’m small but immensely powerful! Hope to see you soon. luv Mark and Tar xx
#31 by Cayto & Ross Owen at September 28th, 2009
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Brilliant news – how wonderful for Tom to have his first outing with friends. Well done darling Sal to you , your beautiful Tom and wonderful girls for all you have achieved. Always in our daily thoughts and close to our hearts xoxo
#32 by Katrina at September 28th, 2009
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Wonderful news Sal.
And yes we have to be greatful your darling husband is alive, wanting to be alive, and fully there in mind and spirit
Bet you just wanted to keep driving him towards the Limpopo…
lots of love to you both and your girls
Kat
xxx
#33 by Alex and Kevin at September 28th, 2009
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Sal you have such a way with words – you should be writing novels! Sounds like a fantastic day out – can’t believe how well you are doing Tom. Brilliant.
#34 by Freya Thomson at September 29th, 2009
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The way in which YOU, Sal, are dealing with everything humbles us all. My heart goes out to you both. It is wonderful to hear how far Tom has come in so short a time since his move. Good luck with your task in finding a carer and with starting to make adaptations to the house. My thoughts are with you. xx
#35 by Rachel & Piers Pitcher at September 29th, 2009
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3 cheers for Tom (and Sal and the girls)!! It is truly amazing and humbling to see all that you have achieved already, and will continue to achieve every day…keep on at it, through those tough moments just as much as through the happy times. We are there with you in spirit and thought as you remain close to our hearts. xx Rachel
#36 by Rowena and Angus at September 30th, 2009
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Beers and an outing!!!! Progress seems to be coming in leaps and bounds, not baby steps with all of modern technology there too! Having been eaten by tsetse flies in Mana at the weekend, we tried Tom’s itch remedy, but all failed miserably so yes being able to scratch is a huge “gratitude”. We can all add not only knowing you, but being able to share in this amazing network, and all of your personal updates. xxx
#37 by Jo Roberts at October 1st, 2009
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Love the beer comment!
#38 by Tom & Ashleigh Abram at October 2nd, 2009
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Good to hear from you Sal. Your posts are always so touching.
Look forward to having a beer with you and Tom soon!
Loads of love and hugs. Thinking of you always.
Ash
x
#39 by fio and dave stiedl at October 2nd, 2009
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So amazing to see the photos of Tom’s expedition, and wonderful to read Sal’s words. Tomorrow we are setting off on a long trek from Lingshi to Laya in the north of Bhutan. We would like to dedicate this trek to you, Tom and we will put up some prayer flags at the highest pass in your honour!
Rob and Gretta, have a good journey and our love and hugs to you both and to Jane.
Here’s breathing for you!!! Fio and Dave