I had a massage today, and as I was lying there I realized how blissfully unaware I was of my paralysis, not just then, but quite a lot of the time. This is good news, but also has its downside because when I am rudely reminded of my physical restrictions [can't hug my family, go cycling, etc.] and vulnerabilities [pressure sores, shortness of breath], I am temporarily reminded of my challenge.
Nothing wrong with a challenge however. Removing or dealing with obstacles in one’s path is part of life and brings enjoyment, a sense of achievement, a feeling of worth. Helping others deal with their obstacles adds even further delight. This is living life. And I am grateful for life.
It’s been almost a year since my accident, and in a weird kind of way time seems to have flown . Especially since my return home over five months ago. I am gradually establishing my boundaries, settling into new routines, reassessing habitual thought patterns. I have been pleasantly surprised observing the quality of various relationships I have with others, and humbled by the depth and extent of responses to my situation especially visible on this website. It is on my agenda to try and respond individually to comments, good wishes and general good intent, be it by e-mail, phone call or face-to-face thanks. A good opportunity for this (for Zimbabwe residents) will be an open house braai at home, probably in 2 to 3 weekends time-I will ask Sally to put a post up when we have a suitable date. This will be an anniversary event, celebrating an extra year of life and toasting many more to come..
In the meantime, Sally and the girls are getting on well. They have just got from my holiday in Durban and Sally, whilst already at work, is also back on her bike enjoying this passion and bracing herself for our next grand project which will be to build a dream (and wheelchair friendly) house. Ciara is still very enthusiastic with Bugsy, her very cute new pet hamster whilst Erin, a real drama queen, entertains us more and more with a character that whilst cute now, I suspect will be a real handful in teenage years!
I will definitely be making more of an effort to post regularly to the website. In the meantime, be healthy, positive and wise.
Tom
[Footnote- It is quite incredible to reflect on the power of the mind and what it has the ability to accept as normal. Interestingly, careful further reflection reveals that everybody's normal is unique to them even though we are seldom mindful of this enough to respect others' attitudes, moods or expectations].
















#1 by lorna at April 24th, 2010
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Dear Tom
Thank you for your post and enjoy time with your mum.
I have a photo of us all lying on the wooden floor at Rokpa at one of Rob Nairn’s teachings.
We were lying down – not moving, not walking – and we were “healthy, positive and wise.”
Thank you for your teachings.
love
Lorna
x
#2 by Ann at April 24th, 2010
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Happy 1 year Anniversary for all that you went through during the year. Well done with your positive attitude and getting though the battle. Love to you and your family. You are all in my prayers. I really admire you Tom. ~ann~ Nelspruit.SA.
#3 by Peta-Jane Spong at April 24th, 2010
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Always good to hear from the Mighty Sopers. Wise words Tom. We have been thinking of you all a lot. Sal’s birthday dinner coincided with mine – much merriment!
Can’t believe it’s been nearly a year since that heart-stopping message from Al.
Big hugs and shoulder rubs to you, Sal and the girls.
#4 by Val Ledingham at April 24th, 2010
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hi Tom and Sally,
so good to read your news Tom and rather belatedly Sal’s “lately’ writings and birthday news. Amazing that it is nearly a year and so much progress in so many ways …and mindfulness. Do try the homeopathic calendula cream for sores as it works well on anything that doesn’t heal. We saw Rob Nairn in Cape Town when Vic invited us to the Buddhist Centre – he was here with that special Lama who was blessing children that day. We’ll be in Harare soon so hope to see you then! lots of love and light, Val
#5 by Andrew and Sharon Merritt at April 25th, 2010
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Hi Tom,
What a year it has been for all you Sopers. You all have captured our thoughts in so many ways, and we all feel priviledged to know you all. Let us know when the braai is, and we will try and organise one to coincide on this side of the world (Perth)… think of it as another “show of strength”!
We admire your positive outlook and attitude, and could all learn a thing or two from you!
Lots of love
Andrew and Sharon x
#6 by Lyn Strydom at April 25th, 2010
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Good idea Andrew … I am not sure we will be able to travel to London, but Lincolnshire is beautiful at the moment, with summer well on its way. A stunningly gorgeous time of year. I cycled past vast fields of bright yellow yesterday – the rape seed plants are eye wateringly bright. Yellow always makes me think of you Tom. With the sweet smell of freshly cut grass, I am sure we can set up a great Zim braai .. I may even have some mealie meal in the pantry … will dig out the sadza spoon !! (and pray for sunshine!) Lots of love, plenty of positive thoughts and thank you so much for your updates x Joe, Lyn and Toni x
#7 by Kel Bel at April 25th, 2010
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Precious Tom, thank you for your post which is like a teaching to me ! Thank you for your wise words and thank you for being you !!! I wish I was in Zim to come to your braai, but you are on the other side !!! I wish you could meet my family, but one day that may happen! Lots of love to your gorgeous girls and your loving wife Sal….xxx
love Kel xxx
#8 by Patch at April 26th, 2010
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This morning, whilst being lucky enough to be able to walk my dogs, I was thinking of you guys, and wondering what you were up to as I hadn’t heard from you for ages. I was feeling miserable, pondering life. Then you write this and it makes me slap myself around the face again, as you & Sally have done so many times now, and I move on and realise how lucky I am. Would love to come and celebrate another year of life with you. xx
#9 by Fareen van der Put at April 27th, 2010
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Dearest Tom,
Your last post has shown me yet again what a special person you are and though we have not seen eachother in 20 years I am glad that you are somehow “back” in my life. I read your thoughts and imagine your actions and I am reminded of what true greatness is! You inspire me in so many ways as you do to countless others, I am sure of this…. may you always be bathed with such positive light!
Lots of love
Fareen
#10 by Gay & Peter Bourhill at April 27th, 2010
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Dear Tom Sal & The Girls. Look forward to catching up at the open house braai. You are all such an inspiration to us. We love you. Gay & Peter
#11 by Michelle Amyot at April 28th, 2010
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Tom, wonderful to hear from you and be inspired by your observations and reflections – always struck by your infinite grace, peace and wisdom. You, Sal and the “gorgeous girlies” are in my daily thoughts and prayers for continued acceptance for and moments of joy in your new normalcy. Never stop knowing that you SERIOUSLY rock! Blessings always. Love. Michelle xxxx
#12 by Freya Thomson at April 28th, 2010
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Reading your email is great – it really puts into words how living a little longer takes extra meaning to each of us as time goes on. We should never forget what a privilege it is to be given the chance to grow old. Thinking of you and your family, and love to your mum who is so supportive to mine. Freya xx
#13 by Kat at April 30th, 2010
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Awesome. Incredible. I am humbled by you huge strength and peace with your situation. I hope you are writing a book.
I think of you and your family every day. Keep up the posts.
All my love Kat xxx
#14 by Claire at April 30th, 2010
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Tom. I agree with Kat’s comment, I hope you are writing a book or at least thinking about it. Your approach to life is so inspirational to so many, in such different ways. I was asked to read a book called ‘My Year Off’ by Robert McCrum before I did some volunteer work. I think if you were to write a book it would help people all over the world to cope with life changing events, such as the book I read has.
wishing you and the family continued strength.. the Richardson family xxx